Sunday, January 11, 2009

Worst Top Ten List of 2008

Dearest 2008,

I heard you wanted a top ten list from me, but I had just finished off that bottle of Vicodin that the dentist gave me and instead of doing what you wanted, I just played video games and then passed out.

When I came to, I found a few crumpled, slightly moist sheets of paper with the following paragraphs written on it:


10. Jabberwocky
This poem is awesome. A few years ago, a friend with a sore throat read it for me and some other folks. He sounded like a demon. It was amazing. Then I downloaded it on iTunes and threw it on my iPod. Now I play it in the car to annoy people who do not like poems. Fun times. And all in delicious rhyme.

9. The Force Unleashed
Shut up. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Tell me you wouldn't enjoy throwing storm troopers around with the force, electrocuting Jawas and stabbing droids and rancors with a lightsaber. BZZZT. Wooosh. VRRRMMMM. PEW PEW PEW.


8. High-Definition
So I gave in and got a flat screen TV in 2008. It was on sale at Newegg and thankfully, even up til now, I haven't seen it's equivalent for much lower than I paid. Good stuff. And even at only 780p, it looks delicious. My cable provider gave me a hi-def box and watching The Science Channel in HD is just plain fantastic. Also, I think there's a BBC HD channel. They need to put some Top Gear up ins, like soon-ish.

7. The iPhone
A little late on this one, I think. Like most of my choices. But it was the applications and the fantastic updates that made this wafer of dense technology shine this year. And I'm not even talking about the 3G version. I still have the first gen iPhone. From the cowbell app to Aurora Feint to the improvements in the UI, 2008 brought about some standards in mobile computing that will stick around for a good while.

6. Google Chrome
It's fantastic. Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive. ET CETERA!

5. NPR / WAMU 88.5
I've been listening to NPR regularly for about three years now and I became a card-carrying, financially supportive member in 2008. I even donated a bit to WBEZ, Chicago Public Radio, the station that produces This American Life, so I can download the podcast in good conscience. I have to say, the radio has given me far more and via this station, far better information than the TV ever has or likely ever will. So here's to "dead media".

4. Challenges at Work
So I got a juicy promotion to a really cool position at work back in August/September. It has been challenging and fun and I've learned a great deal so far. I have a lot of ideas for my company and so far, a fair number of them are being utilized to great effect. I was quite wary of staying at Custom Ink after I started- it was a huge shock to move from the psychotic flailing of the record industry to an industry that I only vaguely realized existed in 2007, when I applied for the job of Production Artist- an industry that is doing well, even during the downturn. Thank Jebus for the intertubes.

3. Xbox 360
Yeah, it's getting kind of old. Sure, the console has had a huge number of problems. I personally know three people who have gotten the infamous "Red Ring of Death". But all of them had their systems fixed in record breaking time and they still play them today. Downloadable content makes games what they are these days, from full on expansions to extended missions, options and more lightsaber choices. All fantastic ideas... and the best one? Well, the best one is my number two item of 2008... (And that thing that beat it out basically beat everything else by a landslide, including John McCain. See if you can guess what my number one is before you scroll down any further!)

2. Netflix
And it was a long time coming. Not as long as number one, but frankly, it's just as surprising to folks who know me. I own several hundred DVDs. Movies, TV shows, OVA Animation. But I only signed up for Netflix in November of 2008. I slept on it. My old roommates had it, so I mooched there and frankly, I liked buying DVDs. But with Blue Ray creeping up and HD looming large (see number 8), I decided to put the whole "buying DVDs" thing on hold. Also, I don't work at Tower any more and I don't get a discount on DVDs. But the clearest, most obvious and awesome reason that I set up a subscription to this most excellent service is the streaming video plug-in for the Xbox 360. Netflix + Xbox = massive win. Only slightly less massive win than another thing that happened in November...


1. Hope
Barack Obama won the election in what I feel like is a landslide. And next week, he'll be sworn in as our 45th president. I've been excited for a year about his prospects and it built to a fever pitch over the course of the election. What I like most about his effort, his message, his promises... It's the hope. The overwhelmingly positive attitude that the whole effort brought out. We've spent eight years being spoon-fed fear and hate and as any good Jedi will tell you, that shit leads to the dark side. So here's to 2008 ending on a high note. May the force be with you all.


Cheers. Now let's bring on the rest of the year.

It's been a long, long time comin', but I know- change gon' come

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